Dear God,

I don't really know what to say. I feel like things have been going really badly in the past 24 hours. I don't feel that I should really be talking to you right now. I know that I need the help and I know that I should be turning to you yet I feel like I can't really depend on you right now. I feel like you keep letting me have a little bit of good just to disappoint me. I know that this isn't your fault but it is frustrating. God, I just really don't know right now. I am angry I am frustrated. I want to rant and scream and tell everyone how unfair my life is but I know that doing all of that wouldn't change anything. It feels like nothing can change anything. I want things to change but it feels like they never will. It seems so pointless to even have hope. I promised myself so many times that I wouldn't let myself have hope. I told myself that I wouldn't get my hopes up that things would get better. I feel like I have no where to go. I feel like I have no where to turn. Everyone just gives up on me. Some last longer than others but eventually they all give up on me. They can't help me. It feels like you won't help me and they can't. I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do. Right now I feel kinda angry at you so I don't know if I really want you right now. It feels like you would help me. It feels liek you should make things better. Give me something to go on. Show me that things can get better. I am not expecting my life to be instantly wonderful but I need something. I need something to show me that it is possible I need hope!

                                          -Cat